I am probably going to regret this….

Today I ordered 10 metres of workwear twill in ‘cypress green’ to recover some chairs for the less-formal breakfast/dining room on the ground floor of the hotel. The plan is to lift the carpet, paint the floorboards, and offer it as a place for families to eat where there won’t be constant tutting from guests who object to children enjoying their food. Washable floor, washable tables….

Well, I hope it’ll work.

Anyway, this evening saw me having a fairly frank (yes, that’s a polite way of describing it) discussion with a much-loved male family- member (no, not the husband!) around the idea of gender and gender identity.

His argument was based on the biblical/religious masculine/feminine divide which basically precludes a woman from ever having any position of power or leadership over a man, because ‘it just doesn’t work.’  Men, by contrast, are apparently naturally embued with all the qualities of a good leader – particularly over women.

As you can imagine, this didn’t go down terribly well.  On most of the personality tests I’m so far down the masculine side that it’s really not funny.  I’ve been told that I ‘think like a boy’ (Maths teacher at secondary school), that I’m ‘a martinet, cold, scary…’ (assorted hangers-on), that I really ought to grow my hair and so on and so on.  Fortunately for me, being a thinking-type woman is a lot less problematic than being a feeling-type man in our society.

Generally, my experience can be summed up by this blog posting. She puts it a lot more clearly than I ever could – and infinitely more clearly than I can do at this time of night!



Filed under Blether

9 responses to “I am probably going to regret this….

  1. What a bore! I can picture the discussion as you talk. And he probably was enjoying the prospoect of winding you up too. I was at a pseudo-maths lecture (dumbed down for the general non-maths studying populace) last night where the presenter, a woman, was talking about the sheer boredom of dating and telling men what she did – amths research. One fella said, ” you must have a lot of testosterone to do that!”. Not a successful date.

  2. I’m sorry you had such an unpleasant conversation with your relative. I HATE it when people use the Bible in a way to limit women, and put them under, when everything I read about Jesus and the effects of Christianity point to women’s liberation, and coming to a place of equality. Sigh. So frustrating.

  3. When will folks realize this is a dead argument an that a thorough reading of the Bible will point to women’s equality? I have never heard of that personality test mentioned on the other blog. I doubt my mother would have allowed such a thing anyway. I was so lucky to have progressive minded parents!

  4. I like to bring those discussions back around to issues of male fears of the inadequacy of their equipment. Ever since humankind stopped revering the matriarch, society has gone downhill.

  5. dez

    I am sorry you had to endure such unpleasant conversation. Some people confuse “leadership” with dominance, and that’s sad. The physical ability to dominate through greater size and violent behavior should not be confused with leadership, which requires intelligence, courage, and creativity — not brawn. How these people pull such horseflop out of the Bible baffles me. However, when people do fling so-called Biblical instructions about, I quickly turn to the book of Leviticus and grill them on their manner of dress, their diet, whether they curl the hair to the side of their face, etc. etc. Invariably they get sick of it and shut up. 🙂

  6. dez

    P.S. — for the grumpy fellow who says “it just doesn’t work?” Next time he uses that phrase, tell him they have pills for that now. ;-}

  7. Hmmm… I have been told (quite recently) that the reason boys in my classes do so well (girls do too, but that seems to be besides the point!) is that I think in a masculine way. What a load of testicles!

  8. My stock response is, “That’s fine for women that are Christians. But I am not a Christian and see no reason why I should have to live by your biblical rules.” The US constitution is supposed to give us the right to live by our own beliefs. It is also supposed to protect us from having the beliefs of others foisted upon us. It is a constant battle, though.

    I have been thinking about the comment you left on my blog. It is a painful subject for me so I only post about it sporadically. However, I will be posting very soon one suggestion.

  9. Rhiannon

    There’s a lot of guff talked about the difference between men and women. Have a look at Mark Liberman’s analyses of the claims made about the relative speech patterns of women and men.

    Inasmuch as I’m not good at understanding other people, don’t get interested in the doings of celebrities, and can’t stand the colour pink, I suppose I’m male. Hmf.

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